Sometimes I wake up feeling like I am stuck in a dream.
Though, you would too if you woke up in a national park every day.
Soft, crumbly mudstones, siltstones, and limestones deposited in an ancient freshwater lake weather and erode at different rates to create the oddly shaped columns and spires of Bryce Canyon. We call this the Claron Formation. Primarily sculpted by rain, snow, and ice the hoodoos of Bryce are like living pieces of art; constantly shaped by nature. I once read an old tourist brochure from back in the Utah Parks Company and Union Pacific Railroad days that referred to Bryce Canyon as, “one of nature’s most delicate jewels”. The formations truly express impermanence to all those who experience them. But that’s the beauty; nothing here is forever. The landscape is in a constant state of transformation. Noticeable changes can happen in a human lifetime. To me, that is what makes Bryce Canyon so incredible, and more importantly, why it is so important to protect. Each year visitation steadily increases, and at the current rate of about 3 million annual visitors, you could probably imagine the potential for resource damage. I have heard the phrase being loved to death thrown around a lot lately in reference to the National Parks. Sadly, I think this is true.
After having lived in Bryce Canyon for three summers and two winters, it has really begun to feel like a home. The enchanted ponderosa pine forests and mystical trails are my neighborhood. I navigate through winding passages and labyrinths into the canyon as if they were my own streets. I know exactly where to look for cavity nests of Pygmy Nuthatches as if they were just another house on the block. The rock formations are like my neighbors, and I acknowledge their presence every time I walk past them.
But is it possible that a home is more than just a physical place?
Furthermore, what qualities define a home?
Some may say it is the people you associate a home with. Think about you’re own home for a second. Chances is are you associate your family and loved ones with it too. As long as we are with those people, we feel at home. Others may say it is a place where you feel safe. I think we all desire a place free from the struggles of life; a place where we can be at peace. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have that space, but as sentient beings we crave it. Both of these qualities in a home are connected by emotion; a feeling.
The same feelings I associate with growing up in Jupiter, Florida are how I feel about Bryce. A huge part of who I am today has been cultivated here. Much like the canyon, I have changed. For that, I will always be connected to this place.
It feels like just yesterday I was flying out for my first season back in 2017. I’m not going to lie, I was nervous. I had just graduated, and was leaving my family, girlfriend, and all of my closest friends back in Florida to pursue my dreams of becoming a park ranger. I was so excited to start this new journey, but so sad at the thought of leaving them. There were many late nights leading up to this new beginning that were full of self-doubt and uncertainty. My partner Sadie was, and always has been, incredibly supportive of me pursuing my passion even if it meant being across the country.
Within the first few weeks of living in Bryce Canyon I started to let go of the fear. All it did was hold me back from experiencing my new surroundings. The moment I let go, my life changed. I found myself in a constant state of exultation. Everyday was, and still is, a celebration of life. Each weekend was dedicated to exploring new places, going further than the previous one. It was as if a whole new world was revealing itself to me every time I went out. I discovered many places that felt untouched by humans, something I never experienced growing up in Florida.
Living here for that first season would have been enough to last me a lifetime of happiness.
But don’t be mistaken, the seasonal life isn’t for everyone. You have to move every 6 months or so, you usually don’t know where you’re going to go next until the last minute, and in between seasons you’re likely homeless. To make things even more stressful you have to fit everything you own in your car. It’s not ideal when you drive a two door Jeep Wrangler.
As an Interpretive Park Ranger, I interact with hundreds to thousands of visitors a day. The sheer quantity of interactions is exhausting, and some of the visitor’s behavior is disheartening, infuriating, and unacceptable. I see the mistreatment and disrespect of this sacred place on a regular basis, and when you live in that same place those negative actions become personal. I know I do not own Bryce Canyon, but it is my home. It’s hard to not feel any sort of animosity towards people who behave this way. How would you feel if someone came into your home and was disrespectful?
This seasonal lifestyle and career can be stressful at times, but is worth it. To wake up in a National Park like Bryce Canyon is truly a gift. Even though some days are emotionally draining, I wake up renewed. Even though the pay is lousy, I feel rich. My wealth is my happiness, and my sanity. When I walk out to the rim my worries and stress fade away. A flood of serotonin drowns my thoughts leaving me feeling borderline euphoric. Nature Rx at its finest. My mind tries to grasp the unfathomable sense of scale this landscape presents. To this day, I still have a hard time walking away from edge of the rim. Every time I do, I feel a slight tug, as if the canyon were calling me back. French oceanographer, and marine explorer Jacques Cousteau once said, “The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.” While Bryce Canyon is certainly far from the ocean, it holds the same power. You will leave this place forever enchanted.
Some of the greatest moments of my life have occurred within this ethereal landscape. I have seen seasons change, and hiked hundreds of miles through otherworldly formations. I have witnessed countless sunrises, sunsets, and full moon rises. I have spent many nights under unforgettable night skies. I have interacted with people from all over the world and have made some incredible friendships. But most importantly, I proudly represent one of the most remarkable places in the world: Bryce Canyon National Park.
